More Than Lust
Lust is emotion.
Lust is craving. It is a movement forward. A striving-towards.
You can crave so many emotions that will touch the spaces where the world leaves you hollow – but lust fills these multiple spaces by force.
Lust is longing. Lust is wanting.
Lust is about intensity and the fire of existence.
Lust is power, in-action. It is a river pounding toward the sea. You, coming to get me.
When I close my eyes, I see red with lust. But in this blackened bedroom, with only a blue light warming the ocean room, the sparks of technicolor imbue the hunger of our three naked bodies climbing on top of each other in primal starvation.
The only way I can see lust as a sin is for one to never strive toward conquering the objects of their aim, of their lust. Even if those objects are invisible.
The two girls were giggling and prodding one another about who should be the first to reveal skin. Piled onto the bed and with limbs touching for the first time and our aim was clear. The path, the river, however, was not.
This is where the reds and blues pulsed through my body to meet a purple hue. Sometimes yellow.
I told the girls, I am not shy, I have liquor in my belly. I reached down for my buckle and unlatched it. The metal was the perfunctory call and both of the girls’ eyes fell to my midsection. For a moment even our collective breath ceased.
I paused once my belt was undone, and my zipper down.
The girls’ eyes were like cameras; watching me. Intently.
When I pulled my pants below my knees and kicked them off the bed, the girls’ eyes batted – away and then back. I was already hard. Throbbing, before their thirsty gaze.
Once naked and the giggling stopped.
I like the creation of situations. I like the act of:
As we talked over drinks earlier in the night, I wasn’t certain that our night would end the way that it did.
But they called me to this place and I arrived, to indulge in the forces of nature. To engage. To facilitate the water’s ebb. No, I wasn’t going to let something like this pass me by. The message I received was: Good news. Call me now. I have a girl friend that wants us both.
The two girls wanted each other. But they wanted eachother in the way that they would somehow feel safer with a mediator: A boy. And as I would learn, their want, their gravitational lust wasn’t so much in their words as it was in their quiet actions. Their loud breath. Their heavy limbs toward one another like magnets.
Once I was naked and only inches from both of their grasp, they took turns playfully disrobing. The instigator of all this was second; she took off her top and unbuckled her pants. Let them fall to the floor as we watched. She was uninhibited standing there in her black boy shorts and bra. She licked her lips deviously and with praise of the unfolding of the bodies…
The younger girl was apprehensive. Laughter and smiles hid her nerves.
But when the younger one peeled her top off, the instigator and I applauded her pert chest. Her sleek, soft, youthful body.
Slowly she pulled down her pants. Blue panties hid what I wanted to see so heavily.
I pulled the instigator onto the bed as the young one went into the bathroom. The rush of pulsating intoxication filled me from limb to limb. We met lips as I laid her down. Naked, my ass was in the air and I was on my haunches, ready to pounce.
Slowly, I pressed myself into her warm body. Her hard nipples. I flicked one with my hot, soft tongue.
I heard the young one come from the bathroom. In the blue darkness, she slid-up next to us, kissing the instigator on the lips.
I have never done this, the young one said beneath a nervous giggle.
The instigator pulled her closer. Said, just let it happen…
I slid down between the instigator’s revolving hips. I kissed her clean mound and then lip-bit her thighs before I circled her clit with my fevered tongue. The young one went down to her nipples, sucking and nibbling away as though this wasn’t her first time to feel this kind of hunger. Her pulsing breath resonated with this devouring.
After several long and wet seconds sucking on her and I reached up for the young ass that was writing next to the instigator’s open legs. When I reached up and into her wetness, I expected to find the blue fabric. Instead, my fingers melted into her fire. She was already slick and without much effort my fingers slipped inside of her.
Leaving the instigator’s wet cunt, I opened-up the young girl’s legs and buried my head between. She moaned and immediately rocked her hips.
Together, we were writhing in an unchoreographed dance of lust and hunger and desert thirst.
The young girl’s ass was in the black-and-blue air. With my head still buried between her legs, she was squirming and twisting and squealing. On the table before her were the wine glasses. The bottles.
I had one hand on the instigator’s clit and the other as my balancing rod. My cock was throbbing blue, out and in front of us all.
The instigator took me in her hand and stroked me as she breathed something inaudible. And in less than two minutes, the young, blue girl would be doubled-over, nearly all the way over the footboard, writhing in agony’s ecstasy.
I am hungry for music. As hungry as I am for naked bodies dancing together.
In French, Bon Iver means, “good winter”.
One of the saddest albums I have ever heard, but around every corner laced with redemption, Bon Iver was the perfect soundtrack for our languid and then alternately, feverous dance of sexuality.
The album is haunting. Sexy. It’s black and blue and, it’s organic – like the winter’s wood that needs to be chopped. Acoustic guitars and falsetto trills lead the way. The work is titled, “For Emma, Forever Ago”.
And as the melodies sank and swam in the heartache of supreme disappointment and sadness and melancholy’s bounding joy, I could only think:
The instigator excused herself for the bathroom when I turned the young girl around to me. She said I am nervous and so I leaned to kiss her gently – but she took my entire mouth into hers with a hunger that electrified me. Our hot, wet mouths swam together. I could smell damp sex on her fiery breath.
My hips bucked toward her and I pulled her beneath me. Gently, I slipped inside of her with my cock as a sword.
Slowly, I slid completely inside. Then back out. She wriggled and writhed with orgasm on the mount. Even after my initial moves in and out of her, she continued to tremble in that way one does after an intense coming. As though this was the first time she had ever been touched.
Feeling her fire, I kissed her again and then went for her neck.
When the instigator came from the bathroom, she stood before us. Above us. She said, wow. She just wanted to watch. She said, hot.
Balanced atop the young girl with her ecstasy eyes and swollen lips, I pumped my cock in and out of her. All the while knowing that my ass was up and in the air and,
We were being watched. Devoured with eyes.
Eaten by lust’s fiery surge downhill into gravity’s melt.
I have the young girl’s legs open and my cock is working in and out of her. I am pulsing with rejuvenated energy and at the height of my sensuality and feeling.
The instigator is sitting on the young girl’s face, at her urging. I am kissing the instigator and pinning the young girl’s legs up against the instigator’s shoulders. I reach down and open the instigator’s cunt and legs. I want all of us to break into open. To burst at the seams.
I can hear the young girl moaning, half in pain, half in ecstasy. The instigator asks if she is okay. You sound like you are in pain, baby…
No, the young girl responds. I love you. I completely love you. In intoxication the instigator looks back at me with her slick eyes and opens her mouth. I reach inside with my tongue.
I want you so bad, the young girl begs more than speaks.
I have the instigator on her stomach and I am sliding inside and out of her backside. The young girl lays on the bed, close to the instigators face. She says, I love you.
The young girl starts crying. Not sobbing. Crying.
For a half second, I am concerned. Then, I am as turned-on as I have ever been in my entire life. At first, the instigator consoles the young girl. But then the young girl responds by saying that this is absolutely beautiful – seeing her friend getting fucked like this.
Their faces are hot with heat and proximity.
I am fucking the instigator slowly, but deep and hard – squeezing everything out of me at this point where we are meeting.
The two girls kiss. Long embrace.
And I watch the writhing and heaving of this sea of waves; of curves and lines. Everything is now blue. Our sweaty skin glistening in the blue light. Now white light.
I have never been present to see two human beings want each other so much and so ferociously – with all the fear of empty space and darkened seas between them.
The young girl wipes the tears from her darkened eyes just before she leans with her gyrating hips. She saddles her leg up and over the instigators ass, while I am still inside her. I pull out and slide sideways into the young, blue girl.
Once inside her, we eloquently balance our weight. I hear her say, his cock is inside of me. She moans loudly with red pleasure. I ask her in my dirtiest voice, if she likes me inside of her. She replies by fucking me back, hard. She presses all of her weight into me and the absolute intoxication of the poles in the emotions of our hours together builds and rides upward in me until, alas, I cannot control it any longer…
In wet emotion I release everything I came to this encounter with as the boy between two beautiful girls. And it is with these same unspoken emotions that we close the night under the skies of a new spring and cigarette smoke and hugs and the uncertainty of joy and the contentment of one’s hands striving toward something larger, and satiated.