The Adrenaline Moment
To this day, I have yet to achieve the rush of this one particular night – where I was both a voyeur and an exhibitionist.
I had just come from the shower, still damp in the nearly airless and thick summery night.
It was pushing 2 a.m. and my girlfriend was asleep in the bedroom. This was the time of day that was allotted for myself. I had tucked her in and typically, I used this time to write.
In the silent darkness of night I always thrived. I loved the cabalistic quiet that I walked in. Always feeling that my moves were clandestine, it was as though I had a pact with the world; and that accord was rejuvenated and stamped for arrival every night that I held true to my aim: of producing more work; finishing my current novel.
And so I was sitting on the couch, readying to either get some clothes on, or sit at the computer naked – which I often did when I was bogged-down by the heat of August in Colorado. As I was lazily contemplating my next move, I reached down and felt my newly clean-shaven ass and water-softened cock. On this night, I had shaved it all, from the top of my cock down to my ass. I was at a point where this ritual of shaving myself was anything but pragmatic, or pedestrian. No, for me, the shaving sequence – with the highly anticipated first touch after the shower as the intoxicating dessert – still aroused me with an incredible, whirlpool force. Every time I became hard. Every time I had an orgasm, one way or another, immediately after shaving…
Still feeling and playing with myself, I went over and opened the window so I could have a post-shower smoke treatment. As I approached the window, I noticed our blinds were
open. I realized this primarily because of the fact that I could see out in this dark of night, across our courtyard and into one of our neighbor’s apartment. Her lights were on.
But it wasn’t merely the light that caught my glance.
No, it was the head that was bobbing up and down…
And no, it wasn’t the head of my overweigh neighbor. Or my gay neighbor. It was the head of my hot neighbor – the one I had seen walking around in her panties late at night. I had never seen her on the street and would never in the future – I only knew her through our tunnel of paned-glass windows.
And her head, with her blonde hair, bouncing up and down – was like a Fresnel lens, broadcasting its beacon out across the seas.
At this point, three years in to living in this apartment, I had become accustom to the sounds and frequent sights that I was privileged to. I had thought that I had covered the continuum. I heard gay men having sex, seen blow jobs through windows, seen the vague silhouette of people fucking, a girl getting eaten-out, two girls making-out, another girl shoving her boyfriend’s hand up her shorts and then upon pulling his sticky fingers out she thrust them into her mouth. In this I thought I had heard and seen it all…
But what was about to occur illustrated that this world is much larger than I, always. Once again the world granted me its grand explication that yes, this continuum is always, always more robust than you think. Never believe you know it all or I will show you ignorance…
After spotting my sexy neighbor’s bobbing head, I immediately froze. My first thought
was that I should turn off the lights, because I want to see this one. Stunned and naked and swirling with heat, I slowly back-up to the couch – lightheaded, all the blood in my body settling at my midsection. Without even looking down, I was hard and moreover, throbbing.
Nearly-paralyzed, I fell into the cushions. My pulsating cock like a sailing mast, waving in the placid winds before the tempest.
Leaning into the couch and completely naked I began to stroke my cock in unison with the bobbing head across the way. Here I was not thinking about a civilized lot. Here I was unable to formulate anything cognitive, with any clarity. Instead, I felt a tingling in that primal core, deep inside me somewhere between my pelvis…
Then, her bouncing head disappeared.
Still I continued stroking myself. That, alone, was hot enough for me – simply to know that my hot neighbor was riding a cock. If nothing else, I was just wanting to see them both stand-up, completely naked, if they were done. I wanted to see the post-coital ritual; the walks to the bathroom; the ice water from the fridge, the cigarettes, the windows – opened. I wanted to see two naked bodies, trembling and still dripping with sex – rise up.
And that is exactly what they did: But by no means were they done. As soon as they stood, I was certain they spotted me – for they rose and both walked right up to the tall windows before them. Completely naked and erect he thrust her into the glass. They could have angled themselves any which way in the frame, but, to my adrenaline delight, they were angled right toward me. As if they knew. As if they saw me before – waiting for them. Stroking my cock… Paralyzed…
She tilted her head up as he seemed to whisper in her ear. At the same time he pushed her a little further into the glass; pinning her. Forcing her if she wasn’t already willing. Then the guy settled into her, abruptly pulling her ass back into him.
With one hand assisting in the mounting of her, he pushed himself closer. With his other hand, he turned her head. Toward me.
With my light on, mine was probably the only well-lit apartment, considering the time of night. They were, for certain – at this point – watching me.
And I, for certain, was watching them. Stroking my cock – sitting upright; making sure that they had enough light to see me and my clean-shaved cock and balls.
And the way that they both looked at me, I will never forget. For it was two dichotomous emotions wrapped into one – a sight I have never seen before, for they looked both sheepishly and hungrily at the same time. They looked as though they wanted to tear into this entire situation with every sexual tooth they had; but at once they were stricken and confused with a conglomerate of urgency, fear and adrenaline.
This for me was the most thrilling eroticism that ever coursed through my body. Like a strike of electricity, finely-tuned it was: In fact, the rush was so sharp – both of my legs were shaking. Not trembling – but shaking on the blades of knives.
I couldn’t stand. It was as though I was handcuffed and bound: The world was not going to let this adrenaline moment slip away from me…
My cock was pulsing beneath the skin, somehow carefully saving its eruption for the right minute. If nothing else, I was certain, I wanted to share my gratitude to – the couple, the world, the gods, whomever would watch – in the form of the enormous volcano that was boiling inside me.
In the frenzy that ensued, I remember little apart from a couple details: She put her hands up against the glass – where once they were holding onto the frame of the window – as if she were afraid of falling through. Then, when they gained a nice tempo and his balls were slapping against her clit and the ecstasy of the moment took over – she was ready, and placed both palms against the glass; ready and bowled-over by the pleasure of it all to fall completely through this glassy-eyed moment.
Then, several minutes later, just when an idea was mushrooming into my head – that I wanted more – that I wanted to go higher – that I wanted to fly across the courtyard and somehow magically join them – they switched positions. He violently turned her away from the window and, pulling her hands behind her and lacing them into one grip, in one of his hands – he took a free hand and wailed on her ass. From my apartment I could hear the skin smacking, kissing, breaking and cracking like a whip.
And he drilled her with his cock. She wailed and whimpered sweetly into the slightly-ajar window. As the minutes went by, her body slowly folded over. Her legs, after a near-eternity of this pounding, finally were giving-out.
Then his muscles flexed and he pumped one long, hard, last time into her – emptying himself completely into her hotness. In that strong pause, he must have been shaking – but I couldn’t see it from where I was. I heard no sounds from him.
He posted his orgasm-heavy weight on her; and she leaned into the couch next to them.
Then he pulled out of her and the two of them turned around and stood facing the windows. As if they were fixing themselves back-up after the tremendous fucking. But no, they were only gathering themselves, to look back out at me.
This, I knew – was really happening. This, I knew – was my moment.
I began pumping violently at my cock. But it didn’t take much. And with my abdominal muscles and every curve of my legs and ass tensed-up; my feet off the floor in some Rigamortis severity, my cock pulsed and then catapulted a fiery jet of cum all over my stomach – hitting me even in the neck.
It was as though I had been punched in the stomach. My lungs were paralyzed for a long second. From the hips I began quivering; alternately bucking my hips into the couch and squiggling to the side.
Slowly I came-to. The lights became less blinding.
And then when my cock ceased pulsing in my now-drenched hand, I looked up to the windows.
The couple was gone.
Walking away from this moment, I was forced to redefine my sexuality. Forever were the answers going to be different to my questions of: What is erotic? What turns me on? How high, is really high? How high do I want to go? How high, is safe?
That was the first time I had seen another couple have sex in front of me. It was the first time anybody had seen me like that; with my cock out, naked and exposed so plainly. Before that night, I had never had an orgasm in front of a stranger.
This was a definite fulcrum point in my evolution as a sexual being. From this point onward, I was forever changed… Fire forever burned a different hue…
To this day I strive to recreate the adrenaline and serotonin surge that I felt on that night.
Still, to this day, I have yet to achieve that rush.